Ice Cream, Cupcakes, and Whipped Cream (ALL HOMEMADE!)

I was craving sweets this week, and since I'm on a tight budget - saving to go to Machu Picchu in the spring - I haven't had the money to run out in the middle of the night and buy cartons of Hagen Daas or several dozen chocolate bars like I normally would. Instead, I've been making all of my stuff, after I get home from work at around 11pm to midnight, and then not going to sleep until... never.

On sunday, I made my go to Devil's Food Chocolate Cupcake recipe by Martha Stewart. The secret to the deliciousness of this recipe is the cup of sour cream you add at the end. The tanginess counteracts the overwhelming sweetness of the 3 sticks of butter, 3 cups of sugar, and cocoa powder, and creates a delicious but not overly decadent chocolate cupcake, and trust me, if it weren't good I wouldn't continue to make it. I'm not that into chocolate sweets - brownies, cupcakes, etc. - so it's a miracle I even like these.

I'm positively terrible at making frosting. I don't know what it is but every time I try, it ends in disaster. For these cupcakes I made whipped cream instead because... 1. It's super easy and 2. you can eat it straight out of the bowl and not feel nearly as guilty as you would eating frosting straight out of a carton. I put it on top of my cupcakes, on top of my fruit, on top of my hot cocoa, and on top of my spaghetti (well... not yet).

Finally to finish off my trifecta of sweets, I made homemade vanilla ice cream with my new ice cream maker! Of course, I did not do this the same night I made my other goodies because I mistakenly forgot to put the ice cream bowl in the freezer a day in advance, which, BE WARNED, is absolutely necessary. Just always keep those puppies in the freezer. When you finish making ice cream, scoop it out, put it in some tupperware, wash out your bowl, and stick it back in the freezer, or you will regret it!

Making the ice cream was not easy, even though every article I read and every youtube video I watched said it should be. They made it seem simple enough for a monkey, which means I am simpler than a monkey. I locked the bowl into the machine, put the mixer upright and inside the bowl, topped it off with the lid, turned the switch, and.... nothing happened. It wasn't until fifteen minutes later that I realized I needed to reset the switches in my apartment and that I had in fact been doing everything correctly. When I finally got it working, the bowl had defrosted too much and the ice cream would not form. So I stuck it in the fridge and finished it with my additional frozen bowl when I came home from work.

I didn't want to take any chances, so I just made simple vanilla ice cream. When the ice cream finally formed, it was still to soft to eat, so I stuck it in the freezer and when morning finally came, I hopped out of bed like a kid on christmas - at 6 in the morning - stuffed my face with ice cream, and went to bed with heartburn. My mom is sending me vanilla beans, so it will be fancier the next time I make it. No pictures of the ice cream today, it went to fast, but rest assured, I will be making a lot more.

XOXO Fat Pig.

Frying Everything

We're Americans, so therefore we must fry everything. So I did.

The day before I left California after my short return, we decided to use my mom's year old deep fryer for the first time. I wanted...

1. To test my mothers limits in seeing what she'd let me fry

and

2. Fry anything and everything I could afford.

I spent hours prepping the following.

-Twinkies
-Oreos
-Cheese Sticks
-Potato Chips
-An array of tempura vegetables
-wontons

How does it take hours to prepare twinkies for frying you might be wondering? Well actually unless you want the twinkie to disintegrate upon hitting the scalding oil you have to freeze it. They come out looking like corn dogs, and tasting half baked in a bad way. The cream inside soaks into the foamy walls around it, and what makes a twinkie traditionally great is no longer there.






Maybe if I had used real twinkies that wouldn't have been a problem, I will never know though now that they're off the market. It's a sad day when the knock-off brand becomes the only brand; it was Little Debbies Cloud Cakes or nothing.









The oreos turned out just as good as I remembered them being the first time I had them last year at the street fair in Little Italy. I like oreos well enough on their own, but for some reason, when they're fried they become positively sublime. I rolled the oreos around in some pancake batter and dropped them in the deep frier for a good couple seconds, and poof, a foolproof treat and a sin to human nature. Also, it was vegan! (jk not really, used egg in the batter)

The cheese sticks did not work, at all. My guess is because we didn't follow a recipe, we just blindly dusted them with egg yolk and breadcrumbs and dropped them in the deep frier. I had a feeling potentially viscous cheese could cause a hazard when placed in excessively high temperatures but I didn't say anything, regrettably. They melted upon contact and we fished out - and ate - what we could. The rest stuck to the metal grating of the basket, and for all I know is still sitting there waiting for my mother to clean it out.






The potato chips were so freaking good, and so were the tempura and the wontons. Things I regret about this experience? NOT FRYING MORE! I wanted to fry pickles, and coke (not cocaine, Coca Cola [yes it's a thing]) and really anything in our fridge, because if you put your mind to it, YOU CAN FRY ANYTHING and EVERYTHING.

Another thing excessive frying taught me; the grease in the air is exhausting. Within ten minutes of frying I was ready for a nap. I could never work at a fast food restaurant; however I have no problem eating at them so I wish to take this moment to express my eternal gratitude to those who do work there. THANX.

For Christmas, I got an ice cream maker, and a dutch oven. Imma be up in the kitchen cooking up dem stews and mixing up dat ice cream. More soon, leave comments, LOVE YOU ALL ( - belated christmas joy)


 P.S. Extra special thanks to Christine Jackson for taking such noiice pictures.

While I Still Have Power...

Posting from Long Island, the last few days have been weird. Not hard, just weird. I've slept far too much, and eaten mainly fried chicken and cheese fries. I guess maybe I should point out that a few days ago we were in the midst of a hurricane, but it didn't really feel like a hurricane - it was just really windy - until all the lights went out and I started to cry like the spoiled 21st century child I am as my last bits of phone battery dribbled away.

Just for the record, I didn't actually cry, but I did when I realized I'd forgotten to bring a book and the only book my aunt and uncle had was some Chelsea Handler crap, and it was not good (hence the crap).

I'm dying to get back in the city, mainly because I miss fried rice. Times like these really make you appreciate the tuesday evening you spent at the KuKu Canteen, eating kimchi fried rice, and then they make your mouth water, especially when the book you're reading mentions chocolate far too often. School is cancelled till the end of the week - like some weird fantasy the weather has granted me a week long vacation - but how can I enjoy this time off if I can't stream ROMANTIC COMEDIES.

Also it's Halloween, not that anyone here really cares.

HAIKU TO MY CURRENT STATE OF MIND

Didn't sleep last night
Have a glass of so-so wine
momofuku soon


P.S ^ that's why I'm not a poet.

No Reservations, No more

I saw this on Bon Appetit's website and hesitated before posting it. It looks like I'm mourning Anthony Bourdain, but he's not dead and he's not dying. It's just that his show has finally (after a long ass time - like 10 years!) come to end. I know, shows end everyday - well maybe not everyday - and it really isn't that big of a deal especially since I haven't even seen all of the episodes, it just feels like there is this big gaping hole in television without Anthony Bourdain. Hope someone fills it soon. Anyways I recommend reading this, I really enjoyed it. And you get to see an old picture of him! Anthony Bourdain on Bon Appetit

People Actually Read Me (I think/hope)

I said I write a food blog and my new roommate knew of it, even though we've never met before, and even though we aren't Facebook friends.

Thanks for the pressure world! Now that I know people are actually out there, actually enjoying (does this assume to much?) what I have to say about food, I feel this weird obligation to keep writing posts and when I ignore it, it actually kind of stresses me out.

I have a new - old - kitchen now. No more touch screen microwaves or dishwashers, but as long as we keep the counters clean the cleaning service (yes I have a cleaning service) will take care of the mess.

I get a paycheck on Friday and my aunt is coming into town this weekend. Trying to think of somewhere yummy to take her that isn't 7eleven and isn't two bros. Maybe Max Brenners? We'll see! More to come.

p.s. sorry for lack of photos

p.s.s my blogs anniversary is in a few days!!!

So, I'm the Worst

I broke my new (Jewish) years resolution already, but the last couple weeks have been extremely tight. Im having flashbacks to my hungry days in Brooklyn constantly but haven't yet resorted to eating slurpees.

It's too cold for slurpees now anyways. Summer stopped by to say goodbye a couple weeks ago and like a second cousin or that aunt you aren't actually related to, I imagine we won't be hearing from him for many months to a year.

I also haven't been cooking as much which is just breaking my heart. I learned that I can't expect eating in to be cheap if I feed fifteen people nightly. So when I do start making money again, I'll be sure to cook delicious food for myself and myself only. The rest of the world can just be jealous.

On another note (a mostly unrelated to food note), I saw Lena Dunham this past Sunday. She was participating in an panel hosted by the New Yorker festival. It was all amazing but my favorite part had to be the free apple cider donut holes. Even better when I walked up to the snack table I asked the server how many I could have and he said, "As many as you want." THAT'S CLASSY

I promise promise promise to post more about food soon!